I always loved the day of conversation hearts & shitty construction paper puns. I even went so far as to wear Valentine themed t-shirts as I thought it would bring me luck in the 7th (and 8th through 12th) grade love department. It worked of course. I always got flower delivery. But it was from my father. My wonderful & incomparable dad has sent me things since there was somewhere to send them to.
There aren’t many Valentines Days that I can remember where I had a significant other to spend it with. The one that does come to mind was a day that I made a 7 layer chocolate cake with ganache & raspberry mousse to serve alongside the most definitely amazing Alfredo from a jar. It sounds made up, but there was also a severe blizzard that day & I requested that my father drive to the post office to retrieve boyfriend’s present that had come that day. The boyfriend showed up in the same t-shirt he always wore with not even a card in the pocket of his cargo pants.
I went on a few year stint of thinking that it was just one of those made up days where boys have to buy girls shit even though the girl says they don’t really want anything but then secretly they’ll be offended if they don’t get anything & then they won’t talk to the guy for the rest of the night while they eat their cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster but then the guy will duck into the jewelry store while they wait for the movie to start & he’ll show up with some Jane Seymour necklace & then they’ll share popcorn.
I came to the conclusion though, that maybe we should just accept this day of love & fat guys with arrows & chocolate. It may have taken me 30 some odd years but I learned that I am in love every day. I’m in love with the guy who doesn’t judge me for going through the Panera drive-thru more than twice a week. I’m in love with my neighbors for simultaneously plowing/snow blowing my driveway because I seem a bit like an Edith from Downton Abbs & I know that they watch me struggle with my broken mailbox every day. And I am in mad love with the fact that I found ‘lonwly little petuni’ typed in my YouTube search. Perhaps I was drunk or perhaps just lazy.
And recently, against my better judgment, I have found myself Netflix-ing movies that would normally make me want to slowly carve out my eyes with the back end of a spoon. And while simultaneously watching Teen Mom 2 tonight I filled out Valentine postcards & sent them to people who I think are more than worthy of however many cents it is to send them.
Also, have you wondered why I named this Je Ne Sais Quoi? I think it’s fun to say. And, it means something like ‘a pleasant quality that is hard to describe.’ I feel like that. I feel as happy as when I get to eat the really baked-on cheese on the side of a hotdish.
So this Friday I’m going to laugh at all the assholes that get engaged & I’m going to eat some candy hearts that taste conveniently like Tums & I’m going to love it. As should you. It is a certain je ne sais quoi.
Oh and dad, if you’re reading this, this is supposed to be funny & not heart-breaking. Also, no need to send flowers.
-a damsel & her dog-