Happy Re-Birthday

Though I had swallowed down a sleeping pill, put on my jams & hydrogen-peroxided my teeth (google it, it’s a thing) by 11:30 pm last night, I felt the need to make it past midnight just to suck out the last little bits of the marrow of my 20’s.
That’s right, today is my 30th birthday.
I’ve always been an extremely sentimental person. As an example, I used to pick out every last Spaghettio from the can so that none of the noodles felt bad. A noodle. I was concerned about a noodle. That being said, I have had a hard time with birthdays. Not because I dislike getting older, I just like to hold on to the things that are ‘milestones.’ When I was 9 & turning 10, I cried. I was over the single digits. Holy crap, 10? I mean, what was next, a job? I think the next hurdle was 12 into 13. I was practically on the road to being an adult it felt like (I do remember writing 20/20 as one of my favorite shows on a questionnaire in school). I guess 18 was OK because I could go to the casinos & rock the nickel slots. And then I was 20. The 20’s, I had heard, were the best years.
And friends, the 20’s were great. I fell in love & out & then some. I wrote songs, left the nest, sang songs, cried, laughed, maybe peed in my pants once & then couldn’t find them the next day & arrived at 30 with some fantastic stories to tell. I recently found a journal that I wrote in in which I wrote some life goals. I had written in there that I had assumed I would be married by 24. I moved to Alaska instead. I thought I’d have my first child by 26. I got a dog instead. I guess I learned that it all just happens. Sometimes we like it as much as I like Sriracha. Sometimes it sucks like when you have to pay for things like new tires. But somehow, it all magically balances like when I put stuff on the heads of my parents’ cats.
So, I am looking forward to the next 10 years. And hopefully, I’m lucky enough to cry when I turn 40 & enjoy a crap ton of other milestones. Did I hear someone say senior discount at Perkins?
This morning I woke up at 7am & ate a waffle & poured syrup in every damn pocket it had. I watched the news & then climbed into the shower. I took extra time whitening my teeth & plucking my eyebrows. I put on a new birthday outfit, made a 2nd cup of coffee & I totally plan on watching Dateline when I’m done writing this. I think I’m owning 30! Here’s to you & me & meeting a handsome stranger.

Cheers friends,
-a damsel & her dog-

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2 Responses to Happy Re-Birthday

  1. somerandomguy says:

    good thing Murdock can’t read. he might be upset that you’re planning to replace him with some guy. 🙂 happy birthday… damsel.

    • I could never replace the hippo – – – he stole my heart first. But my future love has to be ok with his hair in everything they eat, on everything they wear & must possess the skills to clean up a good puke pile.

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